Cold Saturday

  • Mar 22, 2008

The first Sunday, after the first full moon, after the Spring Solstice. It’s a fairly simple equation, yet we are all grumbling, “Why is Easter so early this year?”

It is too early. St. Patrick’s and Easter in the same week just feels wrong. And in Utah at least, we’re still registering freezing temperatures in the mornings. Still, we pull out our bunnies, chicks and overcoats to celebrate the season.

Grandpa Fritz and Grandma Maria hosted an Easter Hunt this morning that pretty much resulted in a brawl. “Stefan got 5 and I only got 2!” “I don’t like dark chocolate; I want milk chocolate.”

Sadly, my behavior and efforts to control the situation were worse than any of the kids. My in-laws are such nice people but I turn into a impatient brat when I’m around them. It’s humiliating, but I can’t seem to control myself. I am so sorry. I desperately wish I could behave better. My actions are so different from my true feelings.

The rest of the day I went around kicking myself for my rudeness. And of course the day proceeded badly as it always does when I stick a little black raincloud over my head. Finally, Erik said, “Listen, my parents aren’t judging you harshly. They don’t think any less of you.” (It’s true. They are completely, amazingly forgiving of my constant stupidity.)

“But I try so hard. And I keep messing up.” I cried.

“You’re OK. You don’t need to try any harder. You try too hard at too many things. You just need to let it go and be happy. Just be happy.”

So that’s my goal this week– I’m just going to be happy.

March 20, 2008
March 24, 2008

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5 Comments

  1. Reply

    J

    March 24, 2008

    Hello!
    I just got home a few hours ago, and am catching up. I think Erik’s right…they love you any way. as is. your previous post reminds me of the invitation to “be gentle with ourselves”…something I regularly have to work at.

    I look forward to seeing you. We’ll catch up then.

  2. Reply

    Jan Russell

    March 24, 2008

    steal the dark chocolate for youself and feel better!

  3. Reply

    millertimeab

    March 24, 2008

    gosh I can so relate, I love my in-laws to pieces, but I do the same thing. I don’t understand the dr. jekyl mr. hyde that comes out in me when they are around.

  4. Reply

    Chelle

    March 24, 2008

    Michelle, you don’t know me, but I think that we have friends in common (Ashli S. moved from my neighborhood to yours and my sister in law has kids at Upland). Anyway, I found your blog somehow after your article in the S.L. Tribune and have loved your writing ever since.

    I think it’s only fair to comment and say hello, since I have become an anonymous blog groupie of yours – ha ha. I am quite certain we’d be fast friends in real life, too! : )

    Just a note to say thank you for your always entertaining, honest and enjoyable writing.

  5. Reply

    Linkous

    April 2, 2008

    Ok, are we the same person? Maybe we were attached at the hip in the pre-existence? I’m just glad we found each other here 🙂

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