I’ve been in a slump lately. It’s just the flow of life. I’m forgetting more than I’m remembering and the past weeks have been a series of small failures and discouragements.
As a young adult I started to feel like I’d figured life out. Then I got married and discover a huge set of flaws I never knew existed. The birth of each child revealed a whole new parcel of weaknesses. And now, every stage, every new challenge uncovers still more limitations.
True, I’ve also gained strengths and skills along the way. I tell Erik that I now think I could be a fantastic mother to four children(I never thought that when I had four) but in no way can I handle my six. Still, with all my flaws, I wouldn’t trade the “perfect mother” I could be for the sweet chaos of life with my little ones.
Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed with all the usual messes of life and so exhausted that I don’t think I’ll ever catch up. Prayer and scriptures usually fill my well but prayer isn’t very effective when you go over your “to-do” list at the same time.
So, on our snowy, freezing run this morning my friend Geralyn told me all about a talk she heard Saturday night by Henry Eyring, “This is spiritual meat,” she told me, “not babyfood.”
Thanks to the wonders of the internet I found the talk on lds.org as soon as the kids left for school. It was exactly the spiritual food I needed. Even better, it was precluded by “How Firm a Foundation” a hymn that holds such power for me that I often wake up singing the words– “Fear not I am with thee. Oh be ye not dismayed. For I am thy God and will still give thee aid…” If you want to watch it pull the time cursor to 51:24 and you’ll catch the song and the talk. 😉
I listened to it over and over as I cleaned the house, packed up orders and organized the Monday chaos. Soon, my heart felt lighter.
Every time my heart aches, every time the world looks dark, a friend reaches out and gives me exactly the help I need. I never cease to be amazed by the women in my life who through a phone call, a morsel of advice, a chocolate ice-cream cake, a compliment or a hug make me feel loved, affirmed and hopeful.