Maturation

  • May 1, 2008

Driving home from Xander’s violin lesson I had a rather worried call from Hansie, “Where’s dad? Is he going to be home in time for my maturation program?” (Hans only knows my cell phone and has never bothered to memorize Erik’s.)

Strangely, Hans is excited for this night of all nights. At breakfast he asked what they would be talking about, “Ah, they’re just going to inform you that you are about to get stinkier and hair will soon start sprouting in strange places all over your body.”

“Cool!”

So I called Erik. “But I can’t go! I have tennis tonight. I’ve been to so many of these that I have all the jokes memorized. Why don’t you go?” Whine. Whine. Whine.

“‘Cause I’m the mom. No boy wants to go to maturation night with his mom.”

“Fine. But I won’t go to Costco for you anymore.”

Now that’s a LOW blow. “Listen mister. Maybe you need to go to maturation night to learn that YOU are the reason we have so many boys. Do I need to explain the biology here?”

By this time I was parked in the garage and we compromised by flipping a coin. “Heads, you lose.” It truly was heads, but I fully admit that I would have lied if it had been tails.

Erik pulled in a few minutes later(with a car full of food from Costco). As he supervised the unloading of the car he asked Hans, “Don’t you think it would be fun to go with mom?”

“It’s the kind of thing you want to go to with another boy, dad.”

Erik–“Well, I can tell you everything you need to know in ten minutes.”

“But all my friends will be there. And you might forget something. I don’t want my friends to know more than me!”

Clearly Erik was getting desperate–“Hey Stefan! You want to go with Hans? They serve cookies and punch!”

“Dad. As you have so frequently reminded me; I am not a parent. If I can’t boss him around on a daily basis I am not going to this!”

So off they went. I hear they get free deodorant samples. And I get to stay home and write and make May-Day cupcakes.

5 boys, 1 princess– one day I’ll have to attend the dreaded maturation program but for now I’ll just wave them out the door.

April 29, 2008
May 1, 2008

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8 Comments

  1. Reply

    Blue

    May 1, 2008

    ahh. at least you don’t have five princesses and one prince. because the princess maturation session was 2 hours long! the boys were long gone by the time we finished up.

    still, it was really well done, very thorough and the free deodorant was a big hit with the girls too.

    i bet the 5th grade rooms smell like a bed of roses in the morning compared to today. ♥

  2. Reply

    Lauri

    May 1, 2008

    I love that post!

  3. Reply

    Bruce and Zalia

    May 1, 2008

    So…there ARE advantages to having all boys. I just hadn’t thought that far ahead.

  4. Reply

    Bonnie

    May 1, 2008

    That was fun! I liked the stories…I wonder if the boys one was as funny as the girls.

  5. Reply

    Denise

    May 2, 2008

    Thoughts for Erik:
    1. 3 down, only 2 to go — you’re more than half way there!
    2. They only do that “maturation” class in UT. If it’s so bad, move to another state…or country.

    And one more question…why is it 5 boys and 1 princess? Does her gender make her royalty? Your boys all seem quite princely to me. Maybe it’s because my family is almost the mirror opposite of yours, but I sometimes worry about the prima donna syndrome in little girls. Although it sounds like Mary is not a prima donna. I am trying really hard to raise grounded girls and find that our society does not necessarily share my concern or views. What do you think?

  6. Reply

    Michelle

    May 2, 2008

    Interesting thoughts Denise. I’ll admit I feel a bit guilty whenever I say 5 boys 1 princess, but I love the way it sounds. My boys are quite princely and they do know I adore them; but Mary certainly has prima donna tendencies. I keep promising myself that we’ll spend her entire teenage years serving at the food bank and homeless shelter.

  7. Reply

    katherine

    May 2, 2008

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. Reply

    katherine

    May 2, 2008

    A lot of jokes were funny when me and my mom went.

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