Mommy diaries

  • Sep 14, 2008

At dinner tonight I complained that I’ve been trying to write this post since Saturday and no one will give me five minutes to finish it (silly kids always using the computer for homework, don’t they know it’s my toy?).

Erik asked, “What are you writing about?”

“Teenagers.”

“Ah, I bet you’re wearing out the thesaurus looking up synonyms for ‘annoying’.”

Ben doesn’t miss a beat. “Oh you’re writing about Dad?”

______________________________________

Here is the dance of parenting teenagers:

keep your distance mom,

give me space,

stop asking so many questions

and then………………

I NEED you right now!

And so I’m waltzing along, trying to remain invisible yet constantly available.

Since I don’t want to receive hate mail from my future daughters-in-law I make my teenage boys do their own laundry, clean their bathroom, make their lunches. Sometimes I feel a bit lax in caring for them but they still find plenty for me to do. Mostly it’s shopping lists: folders, new deodorant, socks… but they find other uses for my limited skill set.

Because Ben would rather roll naked in a bed of carpenter ants than go to the mall we shopped for a homecoming outfit via cellphone.

“Do you like this shirt with this tie Ben?”

“Love it! You have the best taste mom.”

He’s charmed me now, “How ’bout pants? Do you want new pants?”

“Whoa mom. I already have dress pants. Are you sure you want to spoil me? Am I really a two pant kid?

“Just give me your size kiddo.”

Erik is useful too. Friday night Stefan burst through the front door at 10:15 p.m. “There’s been an accident. My friends….. prank…..help…!”

The boys were coming home from a party and decided to play the “rope game.” Have you heard of the rope game? It’s completely stupid. Which means that 14 year old boys love it.

Two boys stand on opposite sides of a residential street and pretend to hold a rope. If a car slows down they simply drop their arms and shrug their shoulders. But if the car drives through the boys pretend they are being pulled by an invisible rope. Either way they laugh themselves silly.

Totally inane. Totally teenage boy.

You’ve already figured what happened Friday night. A car slowed for the invisible rope and ‘WHAM!’ a Jeep speeding down the hill slammed right into it. Erik arrived on the scene within minutes and gave Stefan’s friends some very good advice: “Be 100% honest, tell the police exactly what happened but don’t say, ‘It’s all my fault.’ Don’t take the blame. That’s a judgment call.”(many thanks to our fabulous insurance guy, Dave, who gave us that counsel. Hi Dave!)

By the time I walked up the street there were three police cars, two ambulances, a fire truck and every teenage girl within miles gathered on the street. It was a circus. Two girls went off in stretchers but thankfully only had whiplash(they still went to homecoming the next night). The pranksters were an emotional mess. The second car was cited for speeding but Stefan’s cute friends are headed for juvenile court.

So uh, yeah, read this to your boys and tell them even little pranks can land them in the big house.

Ben needed me even more on Saturday morning because his quartet has a gig and they needed photos and business cards(twist my arm and make me take a picture). He also needed my car.

He got home from his gig and called my at Hansie’s soccer game, “Mom, did you borrow my headphones this morning to go running?”

Guilty.

“Mom, where are they?” I dunno.

“Mom, I’m OK with you borrowing my stuff but you have to put it back. You lose things.” And this is true. You’ve been warned. Don’t loan anything to me. I’ll lose it or forget about it. I really meant to put those headphones away but life is so distracting.

60 seconds later he called me back, “I found the headphones. I’m sorry I yelled at you, And um, thanks for letting me borrow your car this morning.” (Hmm, did I sense Erik giving him the evil eye in the background?)

Another hour, another phone call,”Mom, I’m going to pick up M. and these flowers look terrible.” I walked him through cutting off the price tag, finding the ribbon, tying a bow…

“I just wish you were here mom.” (did you hear my heart sing?)

Later I met Ben and his group of friends for pictures. The photo packages at the dance are expensive, yucky and standing in line takes half the night. So the guys were happy to hire me (for the price of a chocolate bar) as the group photographer.

I realized after arriving that it was a really sweet deal for everyone but Ben’s date. We took the photos in her gorgeous yard and while everyone else felt free and easy she had her parents’, her siblings’ and my eyes upon her. Poor girl. Good thing she holds up well under pressure.

I won’t bore you with individual photos of all 10 couples (and the silly poses and the group shots) but here is an unstaged moment of Ben and the lovely Miss M.

Later we took the little boys to a concert and when we came home Stefan(who had his own violin gig that night) was reading on the couch, waiting for us(it wasn’t much of a social evening since his friends were meeting with the sheriff). I put the small people to bed while Erik ate ice cream and talked to Stefan. Coming downstairs and seeing them eating my secret stash of New York Super Fudge Chunk I started banging cupboards, sweeping the floor, changing the kitty litter and grumbling, “Sure, sure, sit and eat ice cream while I do all the work!”

Stef stole off to bed and Erik looked at me, “I’m sorry. I just thought talking to Stefan was a little more important than a clean house right now.”

And so I end on a bittersweet note. Because I missed that moment. And next time I’m going to recognize it. I’m just grateful that Erik is here to show me how.

September 10, 2008
September 17, 2008

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12 Comments

  1. Reply

    Katie

    September 16, 2008

    Cutest…picture…ever… is this the ‘one’ that he really likes? They are adorable… how fun! I hope and pray that my boys pick modest girls like each one in that picture…

  2. Reply

    Blue

    September 16, 2008

    one of your best posts ever.
    and maybe it didnt’ get done (along with anything else) because you’ve been busy with your new segullah deal. congrats again (i said as much there)!

    i loved how you covered so much of life in one spot. with insight, tenderness and beauty you capture the moments you’ll look back at and treasure forever.

    somedays i just want to be you 😉

    I will NOT forget tomorrow’s tuesday!

  3. Reply

    Annie

    September 16, 2008

    so, so true. All of it. And congrats on your Segullah gig! Looking forward to reading your wisdom in both places 🙂

  4. Reply

    duchess

    September 16, 2008

    What a sweet picture….and one day when they’re about to get married you can show it at the rehearsal dinner growing up video.
    (Just kidding.)

    Your boys sound terrific. You’ve done a great job with them. Got any advice for a mom with a 10 yr. old who likes to bicker?

  5. Reply

    Rachel

    September 16, 2008

    wow, where was my mommy-photographer when i was going to dances? that picture is actually cute. i think you may have found your calling in life!

    and that was a really great post. kudos lady!

  6. Reply

    Darlene

    September 16, 2008

    I loved reading this today, Michelle. Punched me in the heart. Motherhood is the bitter-sweetest, isn’t it?

  7. Reply

    jess

    September 16, 2008

    i just can’t even imagine. it seems forever away… teenagers… but i know it will go so fast! heaven help me!

  8. Reply

    Michelle

    September 16, 2008

    Oh Katie– I’m going to let you guess if he likes her or not…

    Thanks for all your kind comments– I stress out when I write about teenagers… but my boys love it when I do.

  9. Reply

    Ken

    September 16, 2008

    Dear Michelle,
    This photo is worth a million words! Thanks for keeping us posted on the joys of parenthood.
    With love,

  10. Reply

    Mama

    September 19, 2008

    Is that THE Miss M., Michelle? I so hope so!

  11. Reply

    Linkous

    September 21, 2008

    Ben, what a stud you are! You are so lucky to have such great role models in your mom and dad. I also think that you have it all together, your priorities are right on.
    Hey Steph you will have to ask me about the dangers of being a teenager sometime. My brother was charged with assault with a chicken Mcnugget!!!
    Michelle I love your candidness and ability to help us all see the “big” picture through the everyday “little” things! We love and miss you guys and everytime we read your blog we hate ourselves for not spending more time together when we are in Utah! We love your family, Ryn blesses you in her preayers at night (just so you know she does love you)”bless Mommy, Daddy, Elle and our new baby and Michelle and grandpa and grandma” etc.

  12. Reply

    Dave's World

    September 22, 2008

    Thanks Michelle, but I am only as fabulous as my wonderful clients. But if anyone wants to be one of those fabulous clients they are welcome to give me a call at 801-263-3306

    By the way, being mentioned in your blog is the coolest thing ever. Since I read this I have been calling everyone I know to check this out. But everyone keeps looking at the picture of Ben and Mary frolicking.

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