I worry for everyone on Mother’s Day: Stephanie leading the music who has been through four years of infertility, Lisa– whose aging mother never has a kind word to say about her, my single friend Jean who at forty-four despairs of ever having children of her own and Rosy sitting in the back row berating herself for all her perceived mothering faults. And it’s not just women who can scarcely endure the day— my sweet brother called me Sunday morning saying, “our mother is in the graveyard, my kids are with their mom, I don’t think I can stand going to church.”
Can’t we just shove the whole ruddy day down the toilet?
With my half-dozen beauties and my sweet husband, I know I am among the lucky few. But I would rather receive their hugs and kisses and notes on all the days in between. It simply seems too cruel to shine the spotlight on a subject that is so painful for so many. And really, with such a proscribed holiday, how many families can measure up to the pressure– breakfast in bed, cards, fresh flowers, a kitchen that is miraculously cleaned while mother takes a nap? I know I am blessed to be a mother, but I would rather enjoy my family without expectation of gifts or kindnesses.
After writing this, I felt a bit chastened reading your blogs this morning. So many of you had a beautiful day where you felt cherished and adored. I don’t want to dismiss that; I love kindness and goodness and generosity. But I stand by my opinion– those with sweet families would feel loved without Mother’s Day, while those without, wouldn’t have to suffer the cruel annual reminder of what they don’t have.
I’m starting a petition to take the day off the calendar. Anyone want to sign?
p.s. I’ve come back twice to this post to take it off the blog (because I don’t like being negative); but I keep it up because of the comments. I love the idea of an International Women’s Day.