And I’m trying to figure things out. Although I have five hours to myself every day, I have enough work to fill forty. It’s a familiar pattern for me– pruning my interests to keep my family healthy.
Yesterday, Ben wrote (I updated his missionary blog! Well, mostly.):
I really thought a lot about you guys going back to school this last week and I remember when I went down to BYU. The biggest lesson I learned was just how much I loved our family. It’s a lesson I’m still learning, but I was so surprised at just how much you meant to me. I remember one weekend when I came home for something. We went to church and had pancakes and played ticket to ride and life just felt so good at home. As I drove away I wanted to cry and to my surprise I did. I stopped crying long enough to pick up Mary and talk to her family, but then as we passed Wasatch I couldn’t hold it back any more and after about thirty seconds I had to pull over and Mary was in shock asking me what was wrong. I said I didn’t know, just that the day at home had been so good. After a minute I pulled myself together still not completely sure of what had just happened.
The point is that I love you and everyone in our family.
And that’s my job, to keep everything good at home. Choosing what is best even when I’m pulled in a dozen directions.
Every few days, Mary wanders into the garden with her little basket. She snips and chooses, tucks her blooms in tiny vases, ponders for a bit and removes the star asters in favor of more lavender.
each bouquet uniquely, beautifully her own.
I’ll get my life arranged; some things will look silly and unnecessary to others, but as long as I wait and choose and ponder, allow some things to fall into place and other to fall out, home will be good,