Everything you want is on the other side of letting go

This is the thought that keeps running through my head over and over. 

“Everything you want is on the other side of letting go.”

We are all, out of necessity, letting go of things right now. So many pleasures, obligations, responsibilities, expenses… And of course, we are picking up others: new obligations, new expenses, new responsibilities, new pleasures. 

I keep asking myself— who do I want to be on the other side of this? What am I learning?

I have been counseling with a client about getting out of a toxic relationship. With social distancing, this is the perfect time to make this change. Still, she’s clinging so hard to this relationship. It’s making her deeply unhappy and the more she grasps, the more unhealthy behaviors are emerging. As a coach, I generally don’t give advice. I want my clients to make their own decisions, but I found myself saying, “Just let go. I wish you could see everything you want is on the other side of letting go. Better relationships, better habits and a lifetime full of possibilities.”

And ever since those words came out of my mouth, I’ve known they were actually meant for me. I keep asking myself: what am I holding on to? What am I grasping and clinging to that I could just let go? What is on the other side? 

Does anyone else feel this shift? This need for self reflection? My family is running beautifully right now. My kids are happy and thriving and all this work on communication has paid off for us in a big way. 

Still, I feel like there’s something at the core of me that needs to shift. Maybe I’m not meant to share solutions about parenting? Maybe there something else I’m supposed to do? Have I lost myself somewhere along the way? 

Are you feeling this? Are you wondering how this time will change you? Do you WANT this time to change you?

I know I want this time to change me. Even if it seems too hard. Even if it breaks my heart. I’m ready to see what’s on the other side.

p.s. I wrote this for Instagram and it felt too heavy, so I’m coming here. I read a book once that gave the advice of reaching out to several people who know you and asking, “What are my weaknesses? What do I need to change?” The author promised access to more personal growth in 10 days than you would generally have in 10 years. It’s an interesting idea. Not something I’m willing to open up publicly, but something to think about with friends and family.


1 Comment

  1. Anne Marie

    March 29, 2020

    You have me really thinking. What’s on the other side for all of us? Yes. I think this pandemic experience is just so big that we will all come out a little different, and I want to become more of the things I deeply value. Most of all, I hope that I go forward with enhanced awareness of everything. More aware of the good. More aware of the gift that life is. More aware of other people. More aware of the blessings and gifts which have allowed me to do anything I care about. More aware of God being the reason for my every day here on this planet. All around more awake and alive. I want to sharpen my ability to see my purpose each day and then go about doing it.
    I think of all the amazing work you have done and are doing, and it’s so hard for me to imagine what else you would need to add or change. But since I am totally with you on growth-mindset, I know that you will continue to expand your influence and your abilities. I have complete confidence in you knowing just what that might look like along your journey. I think of Christ calling Himself the Way, and that word has really resonated with me. He is our path through this. You are such a blessing to this world!! Much love to you

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