This past week I’ve been dealing with the discovery that a good friend has been lying to me and about me. My only consolation is that she has deceived our entire group of friends. I’m not one to call someone out because I’ve been known to fib myself– usually about my age(I always round up. How silly is that?), how much I’ve spent or how much chocolate I just ate.
But these were huge, trust-breaking, friendship destroying lies. I now see that our entire friendship was built upon a house of cards– all jokers. And after being confronted with her fabrications she has simply created new and more complicated stories.
So, I’ve gone through the stages of disbelief, anger, disgust and finally the realization that I just have to move on and ultimately forgive.
I’ve been through things like this before and I know the process. I love forgiveness. It is so freeing, even when you know you will never get an apology from the one who hurt you. But I never knew the joy of being forgiven until last year.
I truly hurt a good friend. It took me months to realize how wrong I was and even more months to contact her and beg for forgiveness. During that time she could have harbored hatred and thoughts of revenge; but instead, she freely forgave me. After we reconciled she then went on to help me and befriend me in many ways. The incredible sweetness of her forgiveness lifted a huge burden from my heart and I feel happy every time I see her name.
So yes, this new betrayal hurts. And the likelihood of ever receiving an apology is almost nil. But in honor of my friend Kim I will move on, and forgive, and be happy.
Oh, how rotten 🙁 I’m sorry you’ve been hurt Michelle.
I’m sorry, Michelle. I’m glad you feel able to move past this.
I find that I can forgive with my head, but it truly takes a while for my heart to do the same. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt! *hugs*
I love the part in 1 Nephi where Nephi, after being tied up and mistreated by his older brothers for days aboard ship is finally released by them and then says, “And I did frankly forgive my brethren.” If we could all just be like Nephi and frankly forgive. I second you that forgiveness is a healing balm, best applied with regularity. Holding onto hurts and grudges ends up cankering the soul of the one who holds them.
Nevertheless, I’m so sorry you have been hurt. If only you lived a little closer, I’d just have you over. Laughter helps at these times, I think.
Thanks for the reminder. We all have these “friends” in our lives. Really they are called “Opportunities”.
so sorry that you have been betrayed… it makes me sad that people act that way- but she must be hurting to have done something so awful.