Forgiveness

This past week I’ve been dealing with the discovery that a good friend has been lying to me and about me. My only consolation is that she has deceived our entire group of friends. I’m not one to call someone out because I’ve been known to fib myself– usually about my age(I always round up. How silly is that?), how much I’ve spent or how much chocolate I just ate.

But these were huge, trust-breaking, friendship destroying lies. I now see that our entire friendship was built upon a house of cards– all jokers. And after being confronted with her fabrications she has simply created new and more complicated stories.

So, I’ve gone through the stages of disbelief, anger, disgust and finally the realization that I just have to move on and ultimately forgive.

I’ve been through things like this before and I know the process. I love forgiveness. It is so freeing, even when you know you will never get an apology from the one who hurt you. But I never knew the joy of being forgiven until last year.

I truly hurt a good friend. It took me months to realize how wrong I was and even more months to contact her and beg for forgiveness. During that time she could have harbored hatred and thoughts of revenge; but instead, she freely forgave me. After we reconciled she then went on to help me and befriend me in many ways. The incredible sweetness of her forgiveness lifted a huge burden from my heart and I feel happy every time I see her name.

So yes, this new betrayal hurts. And the likelihood of ever receiving an apology is almost nil. But in honor of my friend Kim I will move on, and forgive, and be happy.