grateful praise

It takes a woman with an exceptionally large and gracious heart to invite 12 people to her home for Thanksgiving week when she is confined to bed with a ruptured disk– that’s my sister.

My brother and I agonized over descending upon her household but she never wavered. Every time we called she echoed the same sentiment, “Please come. You have to come for Mom.”

When my brothers’ marriages dissolved several years ago we didn’t know how to be a family anymore. We gathered for just a few hours and never took the time to understand each other. And if my parents were out of town visiting my sister we didn’t get together at all. My mom wanted to fix it, but didn’t know how.

And somehow, now that she’s gone, our hearts have broken wide open and we see how much much we need each other. Even my brother’s former wife came to San Diego.

It’s bittersweet. This is everything my mother wanted but why couldn’t we have learned this sooner? I see the miracles but I keep wondering, “Why couldn’t she just have a close call? A brush with mortality? Why did she have to die?”

We did everything we could to honor her.

The 10 year olds played with their 3 and 5 year old cousins– I don’t think it was a sacrifice.

Grandpa supervised the butterflake rolls (still in his swimsuit– the beach photos will come on another day).

Everyone came to the table in a goofy humor. But Ruth took charge from her bed in the corner and announced that we would begin dinner with a song. The little ones broke into a chorus of “Zippadee Doo Dah” and we joined in with laughter and silly actions, but Ruth passed out hymnbooks with quiet determination then stood at the head of the table until we grew silent.

“This is our first Thanksgiving without Mom,” she brushed her curls out of her eyes, “and this is our year of thanksgiving. A year to ponder on all the good seeds she planted in our lives. The day before Mom died, Dad and Mike and I sang this hymn at her bedside. I’ve sung this song since childhood but I never heard it until that day.”

And in her clear sweet voice Ruth sang:

For the beauty of the earth,
For the beauty of the skies,
For the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies,
Lord of all, to thee we raise
This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child,
Friends on earth and friends above,
For all gentle thoughts and mild;
Lord of all, to thee we raise
This our hymn of grateful praise.