When the kids go back to school all the stay-at-home-moms are peppered with the same question, “So what are you going to do with all your time now that the kids are back in school?”
It’s asked cheerily, conversationally, and I usually answer “Oh, I have plenty.” But I feel my heart start to race and my eyelid twitch as I refrain from saying, “Are you kidding me?” and naming off the lists and lists of what I do and all the things I can’t seem to find time for.
I could become one of those obnoxious people who rant on and on, “I am soooooo busy!” (as if it’s a bragging point), but I am trying to be less so.
I’ve heard of moms who need something to fill their time; I believe in the phenomenon, but I can’t imagine how? Maybe they don’t sleep? They must be a thousand times more efficient than me.
Here’s my truth: I always have plenty to do (and a huge backlist of things other people want me to do). If I want my own creative pursuits I have to make them a priority.
For me, this blog hovers near the top of my ‘creative’ list. Why am I still here? Primarily because my missionary sons insist I keep it going. Nothing else makes them feel quite as connected and I always feel guilty when a week goes by and I don’t have a post or two to send their way. And the rest of the family LOVES this little record of their life. Every one of them eagerly looks for new posts and they also spend a lot of time reading the archives. It’s made us better, happier people. I think we all try to live up to the kinder, cooler version of our family.
A few people have encouraged me to try to ‘further my career’ by writing with a different style. The more I think about that concept the worse I feel. I don’t want to seek popularity. I don’t want to write simply to garner shares and likes on Facebook. In fact I feel like the drive for notoriety is the curse of our generation. And so I’ve decided this: I’m going to write and photograph and film things that are helpful or happy– hopefully both. And I’m not going to worry about credit or bylines. Think of a soaring cathedral, a lush garden or even a beloved movie— it doesn’t matter who made it, just that it brings joy. And of course all the best, most beautiful creations come from God.
And now I’m wondering why I’m putting this all out there. Maybe I’m asking you to keep me honest? And justifying why I put so much time into this blog? Or maybe just so people will stop asking me, “So what are you going to do with all your time now that the kids are back in school?”