Recently, an acquaintance asked, “So what do you think of your new camera? From what I see, your photos haven’t improved at all.”
She was conversational, not critical, so I answered that winter is difficult, people are pale and the light has a constant blue/grey cast. And then I cried for 3 days.
We all have fallow periods– times where we can’t photograph or write or parent or produce. Everything we attempt seems floundering and hopeless. But if we can crawl out of them, those barren times lead to a hunger for education, solutions, a drive to improve. That craving is the force that sells parenting books and fills self-help seminars.
I’ve told several friends that I’m giving up photography(at least in a commercial sense) because I can’t handle the risk that I’ll fail someone. You’ll notice I have no link to my photography website, I never, ever promote “upcoming specials” and so on.
Yet, while I’m wading through this discouragement, I’ve been taking classes, reading voraciously and buying WAY too much equipment and programs and books. Clearly, I’m not serious about resigning.
Today, I stumbled across this blog post on ScottKelby.com. I thought I would get few photoshop tips but gained incredible inspiration instead. Whatever you do in life– write, paint, teach, parent, build or dream of– this short film will encourage you to “be patient, keep on going, transformation takes time…”
And so, I’m determined to enjoy this dark season, to relish the hunger that keeps me learning. Soon, Spring will reveal it’s bright face and we’ll be dancing in an orchard of apple blossoms. I’ll capture every sunbeam, every twirl, every smile, simply because I’ve been starved for the light.
edited to add: I’m sorry– I didn’t intend this to be a ‘poor me’ post(though I have enjoyed your kind words) but rather about the universality of discouragement and, happily, renewal.