I’ve been so hesitant about my last post– writing it, taking it down, putting it back up. But there is so much value in telling the real stories of our lives(my mom loved it, so that counts for a lot). And I’ve been overwhelmed by the power of forgiveness and love these past few weeks. I can’t stop thinking about my garden. A flower garden is such an impractical thing– especially in Utah where our long winters and blazing summers give us only a few months of bloom– and yet it’s worth it to create something of beauty. I’ve neglected my garden in many ways for the past few springs and yet I am still reaping the benefits of bulbs I buried years ago. Every good thing we plant comes back to us.
Perhaps it’s not clear in my last post, how much of our strained relationship was MY fault. That I’d built a wall around my heart and added bricks and height every year. And the simple sweet blow that shattered the entire wall. It’s made me brainstorm– who can I apologize to? who can I forgive? where can I show more love?
I wish I could make this simple. But I can’t; because life isn’t. And that’s the way it was always meant to be.