I’m so vein

You probably don’t want to know about my varicose vein surgery.

But oddly, enough people seem to have their own ropey calves or just an odd fascination with any medical procedure, that I’ve talked about little else the last few days.

My lumpy legs are a gift of genetics and too many babies. By the last three pregnancies only my support hose held me together and my doctor suggested that I both sleep and shower in my lovely taupe 40mm compression hose. But shortly after delivery my legs improved enough that I gleefully burned those hated hose (I did this after every pregnancy and then really regretted it when I had to shell out $60 for a new pair).

So for the past four years (almost 5– could Mary be almost 5?) my legs have itched and ached and looked really ugly but I’ve ignored them. It wasn’t until my running doc suggested, “Your injuries might be tied to those varicose veins.” that I sprang into action. You can be hideous, little veins, but don’t mess with my running!

So off to the vein doctor— he tutted and tsked and advised that I should have never taken off my support hose, that I should wear it waking, sleeping and especially running. Can you imagine running in support hose? Yeah, me either. His analysis during the ultrasound, “Oh no. Uh oh. This is not good.” was enough to make me feel like my death by blod clot was imminent. But really, are my veins all that bad or was he just trying to convince me of the need for this very elective process? Either way, he wrote up a good enough report that my insurance company practically begged me to go under the knife, or the laser or whatever.

I’ll spare you the details of the surgery, cause it was really gross. Two valium and local anesthetic weren’t enough to keep me from wanting to scream at the doc, “Are you kidding me?” He said that occasionally someone will freak out and hit him. I’m not surprised.

But here’s the kicker. I have to go back every 3-4 weeks for a total of 7 procedures. And I have to wear my support hose ALL. THE. TIME. And I can’t run for 4 months.

I can walk. He wants me to walk. But no running, cycling, swimming, weights or boot camp class until March. I could cry. Even when I’m running every day and going to boot camp 3 days a week I struggle to maintain my weight.

You know how people say they are a thin person stuck in a fat person’s body? I’m a fat person in a relatively thin body. My true 300+ lb. persona is just waiting for me to turn my back so she can burst out and take over. She’s also a depressed person– one who doesn’t have the benefit of exercise endorphins and a daily hour of free therapy from her running buddies. I’m afraid she thinks this is her big chance to finally win.

So (I’ve used So a LOT in this post) if you see me wearing nothing but pajama pants all day long and silently crying into my egg whites, please make me get some help. Ooh, I’m slipping. I’d better go on a walk now.

The bright side:

I have a stash of Valium now.

These support hose truly do feel good.

And all those babies were really, really worth it.

November 18, 2008
November 22, 2008



  1. the merriest

    November 20, 2008

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Cheryl

    November 20, 2008

    Dude. I’m totally curious now about this gross surgery. I must google it! I can’t help it!

    I’m glad you got help for your veins, but I’m sorry the recovery/surgery/no running period is so long. Maybe you could just not eat for four months? Or walk 8 hours a day? It could work! 🙂

  3. jennie w.

    November 20, 2008

    Oh, poor you! My SIL had the surgery and it was awful (it was a one time thing for her.) She said the weirdest side effect had to do with S-E-X. I’ll just leave it at that.

  4. Annie

    November 20, 2008

    So know I’m really curious about that side effect Jennie mentioned…

    Your poor veins. You’ll be glad in the long run (and on the long runs). Take it easy, you wonder woman!

  5. Blue

    November 21, 2008

    on the bright side though, now i’ll be able to keep up with you. so when do you want to go for a walk? i’m free starting the 2nd week of December! 🙂

    My google reader JUST now alerted me to this post…so weird it’s been up for 5 hours. Slacker Reader!

    I’m not sure I want to know details of grossness…but maybe just the cliffnotes version. and yes, the 6 awesome humans that those veins produced (among other parts)…well, simply doesn’t get better than that! ♥

  6. Linn

    November 21, 2008

    I am laughing so hard I cannot breathe. And I know that wasn’t what you intended and I apologize deeply.

    But seriously, “You know how people say they are a thin person stuck in a fat person’s body? I’m a fat person in a relatively thin body. My true 300+ lb. persona is just waiting for me to turn my back so she can burst out and take over.”

    There I go again. Can hardly breathe. That will be my new remark if anyone dares comment on my weight. “Oh you think I look a bit chubby. You should see me on the inside. I am HUGE!”

    Okay, sorry about that. I am truly sorry about your surgery. My MIL had it. Horrible, horrible. I hope the other surgeries go quickly and involve much less pain. Good luck!

  7. Michelle

    November 21, 2008

    Jennie my dear, you have a one-track mind. Now we know how you ended up with so many kids…Linn– I’m so glad I made you laugh!

  8. sarah

    November 21, 2008

    I am right behind you Michelle. The only thing holding my legs up at this point are my most attractive beige compression hose. Love hate relationship going on with them. Oh, I am not looking forward to seeing the end result here as I still have about 2 1/2 months left to go with #5. What we take for bringing these rugrats into this crazy world- wouldn’t trade it for a thing. Oh, I’m coming Dec.3 and would love to get some belly shots if possible. I’ll be in touch.

  9. Chelle

    November 22, 2008

    What are we gonna do without our running dates to connect? We need to set up something else that we can count on. But, it sounds like it cannot involve food so how ’bout we set a weekly date to get together and chew gum? Deal? (seriously, I miss you!!!)

  10. e miller photography-Salem Oregon Photography

    November 22, 2008

    I so am with you! When I hurt my hip a year ago July and couldn’t run for a year I thought I was going to die! Hugs to you!

  11. Christie

    November 22, 2008

    This made me laugh really hard. I am TOTALLY a 300 pounder in a relatively small body. I should weigh 300 pounds for what I like to eat. If I had to give up my exercise, I’d be toast.

    Hang in there. March will be here sooner than you think.

  12. www.lifetrekkingcoach.com

    November 23, 2008

    Hi Michelle,

    Only 12 more Mondays to go…but knowing that doesn’t really make them go by any faster.

    Hang in there & keep smiling!

    Cuz’n A.

  13. www.lifetrekkingcoach.com

    November 23, 2008

    P.S. Check your mail in a few days. I’m sending you a tiny little book that has the power of a smile =)

  14. m_and_m

    November 23, 2008

    Ugh. I’m sorry for all of this you are going through.

    Having once been a runner (before the days of bulging discs), I can so relate to the torture of not being able to run.

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