June 14th


Like little girls, we huddled under the white sheets and sobbed. We needed sleep. The night before had been spent at our mother’s side as she writhed in agony and finally lay still and grew cold. But we chose to cry and comfort each other instead.

Today we are 750 hundred miles apart with our own children, responsibilities and to do lists. but the feeling is the same:


Many thanks to my sisters and friends near and far who are with me in their hearts,

and to my brothers talk to me on the phone and take me to lunch,

and especially to my sweet husband and children who have been with me every day– sobbing, angry, bitter, furious, swearing, disorganized, depressed– of this exhausting year. I haven’t been myself. I haven’t been wonderful. I have not been strong.

Thank you for loving me through it all.


I miss you mom.

June 13, 2010
June 15, 2010



  1. Sue

    June 14, 2010

    Brothers and sisters are a good thing.
    Quite essential to survival.

    Hugs to you…

  2. Annie

    June 14, 2010


  3. Shelah

    June 15, 2010

    sending you my love too.

  4. Christie

    June 15, 2010

    I can’t believe it’s been a year. Hugs, friend.

    P.S. That pic of you looks JUST like Mary…

  5. Claudia

    June 15, 2010

    Oh sweet, sweet friend, my thoughts and prayers are with you. XOXO

  6. Jess

    June 15, 2010

    I love you, Michelle. I wish I could hug you right now. Praying for you and your precious family.

  7. Jan Russell

    June 15, 2010

    Oh that photo is such a treasure! Mary looks *just* like you!

    People who love you most and best don’t expect wonderful and strong when you are broken and hurting. It’s okay that your pain came out. You are loved through the thick and thin!

  8. Selwyn

    June 15, 2010

    Luv you.

  9. Blue

    June 15, 2010

    Wow! Your daughter is your clone Michelle! Such a perfect photo…how you must cherish it!

    I’m sorry this day has been hard. And I’m sorry you’ve been living in the fire. just think of all that dross-consumption! (okay, not funny). you will positively glow when you’re done with this refiner’s fire time.

    i ran into Carolyn Probst tonight and it reminded me of how grateful i am to you for fostering such a wonderful gathering all those years. you’ve really had a part in the edification in my life. i look forward to seeing you next week!
    love you,

  10. Tracy

    June 15, 2010

    Love you.

  11. Tifani says...

    June 15, 2010

    Love, love, love you.

  12. Jill

    June 15, 2010

    I thought of you all day yesterday. Hope it was a tender, sweet day full of memories and of hope.

  13. Linkous

    June 15, 2010

    I’m glad we got to be with you yesterday, that you got to eat with your brothers, and that we got to keep Mary for a little while. I’m sure Ruth would have been better company than me with my allergies and Elle with her tiny bladder and scared faces, but we loved it and we love you.

  14. Kerri

    June 16, 2010

    So so so very sorry, Michelle. My broken heart reaches out to yours.

  15. Linn

    June 21, 2010

    You and Ruth were definitely on my mind.


  16. Natalie

    June 24, 2010

    Michelle, I don’t know you, but I’m Kit’s sister in law, and I’ve sure heard amazing things about you!

    My heart goes out to you and your family right now. I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet mother. I can hardly think of this event happening in my own life without a writhing pain twisting my heart.

    You are a beautiful writer, and photographer. Thanks for sharing a little piece of your soul. May the Lord bless you in this challenging time. I hope I get to meet you in person so I can find out how you raised such sweet, caring boys. 🙂

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