Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.

Can you believe we survived the school year? Back in August I honestly, truly thought I would have a nervous breakdown with 5 schools, 9 sports and 6 instruments. Yes, I did forget a few carpools, practices and lessons. But we all survived. We made it! The kiddos will all be out at noon tomorrow as our house transitions from part-time insanity to full-time, all-out chaos.

So today, while Mary and Sarah have a two-hour tea party, I am indulging in self-centered pursuits.

After reading my friend Cilla’s blog, I ordered FREE make-up samples. Holy moly, I’m so excited. For years I’ve been randomly buying whatever makeup is on sale at the grocery store. But grown-up wrinkles call for grown-up makeup. The time has come.

Next, I sent several essays to Mormontimes. Multiple submissions usually just ensure a bigger stack of rejection letters, but a girl has to take risks.

And now(prepare to get really bored unless you are a running geek like me) I’m obsessing over the St. George Marathon.

St. George is so popular that entrance is done by lottery. Both Erik and I got in. It will be Erik’s first and my 20th marathon. Erik is going to rock the racecourse. He runs 10 milers in 60 minutes and has made friends with all the local semi-Olympians.

While I can’t dream of keeping up with Erik, it did seem like a good year for a personal record(3:11 or so). I ran my first marathon when Ben was 5 months old and at 17 of my 19 completed marathons I had a nursing baby screaming for me at the finish line.

Now, with a 4.5 year old(non-nursing!) baby and armed with years of training, nutrition and ice-bath experience I should be able conquer the road.

My hamstring doesn’t agree. I’ve been spinning, stepping, stretching, icing, walking and lifting for two months as it heals, but just a 4-miler on the road yesterday left me in spasms of pain.

So I’m back on the drugs that make my crazy(yes, even more than usual) but I’m weighing the costs of training for a marathon that may end in failure.

By definition, marathon training is a selfish pursuit. In younger years, I was able to run before my household awoke. I showered, ate and didn’t miss a step the rest of the day. But my older body is going to need afternoon naps, massages, cross-training, DRUGS.

How much of my family’s time and money should go towards this one race?

I’m going to try. A girl has to take risks, ya’ know. And I literally dream of those long, fast canyon runs where my legs pound the road, the miles click off one by one and my heart sings.

But I hope my boys will tell me when I’m trying TOO hard.

I still have several good, strong running years ahead of me(did you know that the Olympic Marathon trials has more female runners aged 45-49 than any other category?) but this may the time to sit back and cheer on the other runners.