Today has been a lousy day. Five hours of sleep, a freezing run, 7:15 at the dermatologist with Ben and then home to whiny kids, demanding customers and a pounding headache. It’s well below freezing here, the kids are out of school and much of the neighborhood has departed for warmer climes.
We’re not a weekend trip family. There are simply too many of us and it’s too complicated and expensive to take off for a few days of fun. And besides, I am too work oriented. I have trouble finding time to play Monotony with Hans or paint Mary’s fingernails let alone a weekend away.
I realize this is my own fault. I chose to have a big family; I continually choose to take on more work and more projects than I can handle— but sometimes I just want to crawl into my room and cry myself to sleep.
I know I need to live my life with wider margins. I pack too much into every day and by the end of the week I am extremely sleep deprived. I would have had time to rest today IF Ben didn’t need a ride home from the ski resort(can he please drive already?), IF Mary could have played happily with a friend, IF my store didn’t present constant problems(the new and ugly trend is customers ordering clothing and then reversing the charges in their credit card bill– nothing I can do to fight it but shut down).
I need to empty out my life more. With six children every day is full of unexpected events. Forget those other New Year’s Resolutions– I just want to dump out the garbage in my life.