not the perfect mother

Hans– “I melted down the candy I had stashed under my bed from Mary’s birthday party(in January) and made you chocolate covered strawberries!”

Gabe– “Give me your wrist and I’ll make you a kiss bracelet.”

Mary– “Will you make me a Nutella/mayonnaise sandwich?” Um, even Nutella has it’s limits.

Xander– “I’m sorry I tore up your Mother’s Day card. Look! It’s all taped up now!

Ben– “Can we eat cake all day?”

Stefan– “Why aren’t you all crying and depressed? I thought you hated Mother’s Day?”

He’s right. In past years I dreaded Mother’s Day with all the talk of elaborate gifts, queen for the day and saintly(never yelled, never complained, never needed sleep) mothers.

But Stefan gave a talk in church last year that changed my attitude. Now I take the day for whatever it brings and know my children love me– flaws and all.

My mom warned me that no one wants to hear talks about perfect mothers on Mother’s Day. So I won’t be talking about my mom at all because she’s perfect.

Actually my mom will be the first to tell you she isn’t perfect. She doesn’t like to cook, she doesn’t make cute little scrapbooks and she’s kind of disorganized. We’re always missing birthday parties and practices and sometimes we even come to church and realize we’ve left someone at home.

But even though my mom doesn’t really like to cook(we eat a lot of spaghetti) she does like to bake. We can almost always talk her into baking cookies, brownies or muffins for us.

And even though she doesn’t make cute scrapbooks she does love books and she has passed on a love of reading to me and my brothers. My dad likes to say, “Stop reading and go watch TV like a normal kid!”

My mom is always recommending books to us and even better she reads books that we recommend to her.

And even though my mom isn’t very organized she does plan lots of fun things for us to do like hiking, swimming and going to Bob’s Brain Freeze. She never forgets to do the fun things!

Mothering isn’t easy for my mom. School was easy for her and she wanted to be a teacher or a writer. But she decided to be a mother. And I for one am glad she did!

Even I can see that mothering 5 boys and a crazy little girl isn’t very easy. Our house is wild! My mom is trying to keep us from turning into a bunch of ruffians by making us take music lessons, by having family prayer and family home evening and teaching us to be “knit together in unity and love”.

My mom hates fighting but we fight a lot even when we aren’t mad at each other. People are always giving us toy swords, guns and light sabers for our birthdays. The rule is we can keep them until we hit someone with them—we lose most of them within three minutes.

One Christmas when I was little my Grandma gave me a disc shooter gun. I thought it was so cool. We started fighting over it on the way home so my mom grabbed it, rolled down her window and threw it out into the night.

We cried all the way home.


Elizabeth Stone said, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

This is really true. I know my mom hurts when I am hurting and she is happy when I am happy. Her heart is always with me. Probably a lot of you have read the Harry Potter books- we love them at our house. Harry’s mother, in sacrificing herself to protect Harry, leaves the powerful protection of her love on Harry. It is through the power of love that Harry is the Boy who Lived. Her love is stronger than all the evil in the world.

I don’t need a supermom. As kids we really don’t care if our mom makes great dinners, keeps scrapbooks or keeps the house perfectly clean. It is enough to know that my mom loves me. And I love her.

May 13, 2008



  1. Jan Russell

    May 12, 2008

    I totally laughed out loud at the forgetting someone at home part and when you threw the offensive toy out the window. Happy Mother’s Day!!!

    And I voted for Lucy, unless you convince Erik to have another baby, then I might save it for a girl…love that name!

  2. Blue

    May 12, 2008

    i’m back! i had no phone/email whilst away, so i am just absorbing all the news and wading through my 100+ messages.

    that is the sweetest mothers’day talk i think i’ve ever heard. what a great guy! thank him for letting you share that.

    and that is one lucky pink-princess cat! even though we named it before we knew it’s gender, it wasn’t necessarily inspired (though i think pirate was a cute name for a girl cat). i’m not going to vote, because Bunch said she wasn’t either. we don’t want to weigh in on the decision because of the situation.

    i’ve been trying to find out how people are making online surveys. i’ve found a few companies, but they’re off-site and have ads. how did you do yours? you’ll have to tell me.

    i have to finish preparing my lesson for tomorrow, so we’ll catch up soon! ♥

  3. jess

    May 12, 2008

    i can’t think of a better mother’s day present than to hear a talk like that from your son! you must’ve done something right!! happy mother’s day.

  4. Claudia

    May 12, 2008

    Wow Stephan! You’re a great writer just like your mama. Good thing I wasn’t in your ward that day, I would have been bawling. I’ve always loved mothers day for just the same reasons. Melted chocolate, cut out flowers glued to a nice vase. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Zalia

    May 12, 2008

    That is the best tribute a mother could ever hear. I have always known what a wonderful mom you are…all 6 of your beautiful children are so blessed.

  6. queenbee

    May 13, 2008

    For the love of all that is good between the mother’s day talk and the precious pink kitty….you have me just blubbering away…That had to be the best gift EVER!! See mama you did something so very right!!

  7. stacey

    May 13, 2008

    I am all teared up & remembering the important stuff. Love you girl!

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