On Loss

for the past few months I’ve been working on this trailer:

On Loss and Living Onward by Melissa Dalton-Bradford from Michelle Lehnardt on Vimeo.

It’s long. Nine and a half minutes (after I insisted it could be no more than three), but you can’t rush grief. You can’t rush people sharing their hearts.

I think, once you watch it, you’ll be amazed by these lovely lovely souls. I’ve come to love each of their faces, each of their hearts.

If I’ve learned nothing else from making this video, it’s this– when people are hurting, just wrap your arms around them and let them cry, or yell, or talk and talk and talk, or just sit silently, knowing you are there, knowing they are loved. As Eliza Smith (our brilliant songwriter) stated, “There’s almost never the right thing to say. But there’s almost always something you can do.”

I’ve been anxiously awaiting Melissa’ book On Loss and Living Onward: Collected Voices for the Grieving and Those Who Would Mourn with Them since she told me of it’s existence years ago. When publishers rejected her manuscript saying, “Grief doesn’t sell.” I marveled at their shortsightedness. Everyone experiences loss. As Melodie Webb (above) said, “If we love, we will experience loss. And those who love the most are more prone to grief.”

Every person in the video echoed the central themes of Melissa’s book– let people grieve, take your time, speak the names of those you love, include them in your prayers.

Marshall Smith, who lost his Annemarie to cancer, said, “Grief is a very powerful and wonderful emotion… it’s helped me understand how much I love my wife and want to be with her forever.

On Loss is a weighty book. Easy to read, yet I want to mark every page, ponder each new morsel of truth. I’m reading it slowly, praying the words sink into my pores, change every cell in my body, until I slowly, finally come into the light.