Is there anything better than people who accept us for who we are?

Friends who know our weaknesses but laugh them off and frankly forgive us?

Five days a week, for the last nine months we’ve carpooled with these sweet people. It’s part of rhythm of our days. I drive Gwen and Mary to kindergarten, Brad picks them up and each month we switch directions. We stop and talk to Butch the crossing guard every afternoon and the girls talk us into afterschool playdates at least once a week.


But at least once a week I call Brad in a semi-panic, “I’m downtown and I’ll never make it back on time.” “I’m at the doctor’s office– would you mind picking up and I’ll drive both ways tomorrow.” “Um yeah, I’m at lunch with friends. Could you…”

And every single time, he answers, “Sure. No problem. Don’t worry about it.”

It means a lot to me. In this world where people scream at others for making a wrong turn or choosing the wrong word or neglecting the tiniest detail, it is so refreshing to know people who say– “You’re fine.” “I know you’re doing your best.” “It’s OK.”

And I’m especially grateful for these people– Erik, Ben, Stefan, Hans, Xander, Gabriel, Mary– who spend every day with their flighty, forgetful, overscheduled, silly mom. They laugh off my quirks and work around my weaknesses.

I try to do the same for them.

the sleeper train from Paris to Munich- June 26, 2009

Who gives you leeway in your life? Who accepts you ‘as is’? Isn’t it the best?

May 30, 2010



  1. Anne Marie

    May 28, 2010

    I’ve been reading your blog for a few weeks…found you through Segullah. You have a beautiful family. All of your children radiate goodness. I have four boys, my oldest is turning 13 later this year, and I hope he radiates the same kindness your sons do as he grows. Yes, I am very grateful for people who accept me as I am. My husband regularly loves me, even when I turn into a hormonal hag during pregnancies and PMS weeks. Yes, he puts up with my growls and grumblings quite heroically. And, when I locked my keys in our van a while back, he came to my rescue without even one smidgin’ of reproach. One of the hardest parts of becoming a mom for me has been the letting go involved. Realizing that I can be a pretty good mom and very far from perfect mom has been so humbling. I yell. I use words I shouldn’t (they all come from the Bible at least). I am always much less than I should or could be, and somehow the atonement makes that okay. Sorry for all this philosophizing. Your goodness as a mama comes through in your blog. Thank you!

  2. Jennifer

    May 29, 2010

    My husband, absolutely. He’s amazing. He is the kind of person I want to be like someday. I’m not quite sure why he thinks a goofy, mixed-up, frequently cranky, and overly emotional nutcase like myself is worth spending his life with, but that’s OK. As long as he doesn’t figure out what a huge mistake he made in marrying me, I am willing to accept the benefit of his goof. 🙂 He is the best thing that ever happened to me, and a far better human being than I ever dreamed of getting to share my life with, when I was younger.

  3. Sue

    May 29, 2010

    My family. Every single member. And I love it.


  4. Jeanelle

    May 29, 2010

    I have a lot of people — too many to mention but your post brought to mind one “got your back” I will never forget. I was YW president and I had a 45 min commute to/from work. Every Mutual night, without fail, something would happen that would keep me at work (really, I know the adversary wasn’t too crazy about me going to Mutual but that’s a different story.) I was late getting home, didn’t have everything I needed for our combined activity that night and called the YM president from the car, crying. As soon as his wife could understand me through my hysterics, she said “consider it done” and it was.

  5. Tracy

    May 29, 2010

    My cat – unconditionally. He’s about it.

  6. Peggy

    May 29, 2010

    I found your blog from reading on Jan’s blog. I love your pictures! Your family is lovely and it’s obvious you love being their mother and it’s obvious they love you! They look like great kids!

  7. Tifani says...

    May 29, 2010

    Another wonderful post and my new favorite picture of your kids.

    I have two friends, Tricia and Danielle, that love me warts and all. I am so lucky to have more than one person, don’t you think?

  8. Michelle

    May 30, 2010

    I could very possibly be dead (or at least a lot sicker than I am) if it weren’t for all my neighbor does to help me.

    I’m so grateful for friends like that — not just for the emotional support, but who literally pick up slack in my life and who do it over and over again.

    Learning to let them do that has been hard for me, but also a really important thing. We are bound through these experiences, and it means a lot.

  9. Kerri

    May 30, 2010

    I have had so many friends who have loved me in spite of myself. It just makes me grateful to know that I can be loved even just as I am. I think that kind of charity is really truly Christlike love. I especially have to mention my friend Malisa who has had my back more ways than I can count, especially after this last year. She’s put up molding and painted to get me ready to list my house, she’s helped me organize my new house, she’s listened to me whine, and whine and whine some more.

    And friends that can pick up the slack from preschool and school pickups? PRICELESS.

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